Girls are the Most Wonderful Creatures In the World....!!! Though You Find Them Difficult Enough because....

If You Kiss Her... You Are not a Gentleman..!!!
& If You Don't... You Are Not A Man!

If You Praise Her... She Thinks You Are Lying!!!
& If You Don't.. You Are Good For Nothing!

If You Agree To All Her Likes... You Are A Wimp !!!
& If You Don't.. You Are Not Understanding!

If You Visit Her Often... She Thinks You Are Boring !!!
& If You Don't.. She Accuses You Of Double-Crossing!

If You Are Well Dressed... She Says You Are A Playboy !!!
& If You Don't... You Are A Dull Boy!

If You Are Jealous... She Says Itz Bad!!!
& If You Don't... She Thinks You Don't Luv Her!

If You Attempt Doing Romance... She Says You Didn't Respect Her!!!
& If You Don't... She Thinks You Don't Like Her!

If You Are A Minute Late... She Complains It's Hard To Wait !!!
& If She Is Late... She Says that's A Girl's Way!

If You Visit Another Man... You're Not Putting In "Quality time" !!!
& If She Is Visited By Another Woman... "Oh It's Natural, We are Girls"!

If You Kiss Her Once In a While... She Professes You Are Cold!!!
& If You Kiss Her often... She Yells that You Are Taking Advantage!

If You Fail To Help Her In Crossing the Street... You Lack Ethics!!!
& If You Do... She Thinks It's Just One Of Men Tactics For Seduction!

If You Stare At Another Woman... She Accuses You Of Flirting!!!
& If She Is Stared By Other Men... She Says that they Are Just Admiring!

If You Talk... She Wants You To Listen!!!
& If You Listen... She Wants You To Talk!

In Short:
So Simple... Yet So Complex !!!
So Weak... Yet So Powerful !!!
So Confusing... Yet So Desirable !!!
So Damning... Yet So Wonderful!!!

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut, but he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened If he had swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."

On a long haul UK flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes.

However, he was finished in two minutes so he left the toilet and wandered off down the aisle, in the opposite direction from where his mother was.

Meanwhile, a businessman entered the toilet and locked the door.

After the five minutes were up, the mother knocked on the door and called out, "Do you need any help with the zipper?"

From behind the door, a startled male voice said, "Good God!!! That's what I call service..."